Exemplary Work by Constance Goh

The Break-In

It was a blistering hot Friday afternoon and some fluffy white clouds were seen floating across the clear blue sky. I yearned to go home to take a nice cool bath to refresh myself after an exhausting and long day at school. I quickened my steps when I saw the lift door opened and hopped into the lift. After pressing the button for the ninth floor, I closed my eyes and started to think of my cool bath when the lift door opened again at level nine.

As I walked to my house, I dug into my sling bag searching for my house keys. While trying to zip my bag after getting them, I accidentally dropped my keys. With a sigh, I bent down to pick them up. Then I saw two pairs of feet at the corner of my eye. I quickly stood up, ready to greet my neighbours when I saw the two men.

I was surprised to find both of them clad in black jeans, white T-shirts and black jackets with white linings. One of them was tampering with the lock on my neighbour’s door while the other was hurrying him.

“A burglar!” I thought as my heart palpitated with fear. I stood rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do. “What if they had seen me? What am I going to do when they turn around? Am I going to make a run for it?”

“Stop it!” I screamed at myself in my head. Finally, I regained my senses. By then, the burglars had successfully pried open the door.

I stepped back into the recess of the lift. I whipped out my handphone from my bag and called the police. I told the policeman about my whereabouts. After hanging up, I became bolder. I tiptoed a little to spy on the burglars. I saw the tall one rummaging through the drawers in the first bedroom. Drawers, empty jewellery boxes and some documents were strewn across the once tidy room of my neighbour’s. Knowing that the police would come soon, I searched for a good place to stake them out.

The wailing siren of the police car filled the air and it was getting nearer and nearer. Immediately, the burglars bolted out of the house at breakneck speed. They pounded at the lift button, as if their action would hasten the lift to the ninth floor. Finally, the lift arrived.The burglars rushed into the lift and bumped into the four policemen inside. I jumped out of my hiding place shouting hysterically.
Knowing that they had no place to run, the burglars threw in the towel and were arrested and taken away in a police car. One of the policemen praised me for my courage and public-spiritedness.

Finally, I went home happily for my very much deserved cool bath. When my parents came home, I related the incident to them and they heaped praises on me. I was over the moon when they took me to a big buffet at Sakura restaurant that night instead of eating at home. The next day, the incident was splashed in the newspaper headlines. My neighbours thanked me for my help. To prevent a burglary from happening again, my neighbor installed grills at their door and changed the lock.

- by Constance Goh
edited by MrDa13

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Good and appropriate phrases and a story that flows smoothly. An A-grade essay! Well done!